As a blog owner, I feel that it’s my job to share everything: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s my job to be real to myself and to you, and that’s exactly what this post is. I’m not here to put up a front and pretend my life is perfect, because it’s far from it. I’m not here to gain sympathy either.

It’s 11PM on a Sunday as I’m writing this post, listening to my saddest playlist, crying and thinking about Thailand. As Thailand inches closer, I worry more everyday. I’ve never been away from home for more than a month, and now I’m leaving for four. I’ve also never been so far away from home. Don’t get me wrong, I am SO SO excited and SO SO thankful for this opportunity, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I’m scared. Terrified actually. Thoughts keep running through my head, like “is this a mistake?”. Even though deep down I know it’s not. Either way, it’s too late to back out now. I’m already in. The comments from family saying “don’t go” and “stay home” don’t help either. The more time I spend time with my family, the more I worry about leaving them. So much can change in four months!

From now on, I’m going to push myself to focus on the positives and how much of a blessing this trip is. I’ll be meeting so many incredible people and changing so many lives, including my own. There’s no sense in focusing on the negatives, as it’ll only make things worse. I’m thankful to have people in my life that make leaving so difficult.

This post was written in about 20 minutes. It’s so simple, but raw and real to what I was feeling. I felt extremely compelled to share this, because often I find that social media is a bunch of people bragging about how perfect their lives are. Writing this also helped bring me back to reality and put things in perspective, so I hope it’s appreciated! 

Until next time,

Stephanie