Warning: this post is very personal to me and is about my spiritual journey with God. Anyone in the world is welcome to read my blog posts, but if we have opposing views and you’d like to talk to me about it, I ask that you please message me, rather than commenting on this post.
So, where to begin….
As a child, I was an avid church-goer. I always went to Sunday School and youth group, and enjoyed spending time in such a spiritual place. The church community felt like a family to me. As I got older, it felt like I grew apart from God. After a certain age, you’re no longer allowed to attend Sunday School and youth group, and church left me feeling unfulfilled. What was I supposed to do?
In high school, I stopped going to church altogether. Was that the best idea? Probably not. In my church community, the pastors changed, some members switched churches, and other members passed away, all within a short period of time. Everything felt strange to me. I was afraid of all the changes that were taking place. Even though I stopped attending church, I still prayed every night. Well, I tried to. There were many nights where it wouldn’t even cross my mind.
Now, I’m in college. Throughout the last two years, I made attempts to attend religious groups on campus, but never really felt like I belonged. While I still wasn’t attending church regularly, I got back into the habit of praying every night, and even just talking to God throughout my day. I needed someone to talk to some days, and I knew God was there to listen. Flash forward to the last few months of 2017, at the end of September, I lost someone very close to me.
This wasn’t the first death I’ve dealt with, but I think it was the most heartbreaking, and definitely came by surprise. Being away at college and it being the beginning of the school year, I didn’t have too many friends to talk about it with, at least not in person. My only shoulder to cry on was my own. That’s how it felt. I was hurt, but relieved in the sense that this person was no longer in pain. I trusted that God knew what he was doing. After the death, I began talking to God a lot more. Any time my mind went blank, I’d talk to Him.
Now that I’m so far away from home, I’m closer to God than ever before, and I’m thrilled. One of my goals for this journey was to become closer in my relationship with God, and I’m succeeding. I’m attending church more regularly, praying/talking to God just as often, reading bible verses daily, and trying to apply those verses to my life.
Last night, I felt moved and compelled to share my story, so I prayed that God would give me a way to share His light. After feeling like I’ve been in a creative drought with my blog posts these last few weeks, it was nice to finally have some inspiration to write this morning.
At the moment, I’m working on wholeheartedly and undoubtedly trusting in God and His plans for me. It hasn’t been easy, and it’s taking some work, but I’m positive I’ll get there soon.
This entire trip to Thailand has been a journey of self-discovery and pushing my limits in ways that I never have before. I’m SO excited to see what the next two months have in store, and how much of a changed person I’ll be by the end of it.
I leave you with this Bible quote: Colossians 2:6-7 says, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness”.
All the love,